The Pilgrim’s Heart Part 9 – The Winsome Heart

by Mike Ratliff

16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves. 17 But beware of men, for they will hand you over to the courts and scourge you in their synagogues; Matthew 10:16-17 (NASB)

Winsome: generally pleasing and engaging often because of a childlike charm and innocence.

Sometimes I feel like I am walking a tightrope. The Spirit-led walk is truly balanced; however, it is hard work to stay balanced. On one hand we are told we must be wise and discerning because men are evil, but at the same time we must stay harmless, winsome and engaging. Jesus said we must not strike back. Instead, we are to turn the other cheek. (Matthew 5:39) We are to be that winsome person who reflects Christ’s character to everyone.

What is Christ’s character like? We are living this Spirit-led life as God renovates our hearts unto Christ-likeness, but what is it really? I heard a sermon about this one time. The preacher said to look at the way the world operates and do the opposite. That would be how God wants us to live. Well, I want a better definition than that.

The Winsome heart does not drive away the unlovely. It smiles and loves its enemies. It does not hate anyone. It does not revile anyone. Its essence is one of innocence and charm. It is humble yet engaging. Carefully read the following excerpt from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘AN eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40 If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. 41 Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:38-48 (NASB)

No matter how nasty people are to us, our Winsome heart must respond. I believe this is the hardest thing for me to grasp. As I do my self-examination, I see clearly that this is where I fail the most. My heart is not as winsome as Christ wants it to be. I am constantly coming up against circumstances challenging me. What is the root of non-winsomeness? Pride is the root. Where does it grow? It is rooted in the sorry, sour, rocky soil of a hard heart. Oh no! That means when I have pride issues I am revealing that my heart still has a long way to go in becoming tender.

Here is some encouragement. Over the past several months, I have come up against many unreasonable or incompetent people and well over half of them have gone away stunned at the tenderness and forgiveness they received from me. I was even more stunned than they were. However, there are still some I respond to like a real Flesh-bound, self-protective person. I repented each time and returned to going hard after my Lord. Through it all, I learned something very valuable.

Having a Winsome heart is not something we can try to do. The only way is to be totally Spirit-led, fully armored, focused entirely on the Lord and His glory, which of course results in becoming Spirit-filled. The Winsome heart is a Spirit-filled heart. It is a heart led and controlled by the Holy Spirit. This heart is not self-focused at all. Failure, resulting in non-winsomeness, happens when we are self-focused. When we are bent on attaining self-gratification, we are self-focused. When we are concerned more about our own image than Christ’s, we are self-focused. When we are actively building our own kingdom, rather than walking in His, we are self-focused. We must stop being self-focused. We must become and stay Spirit-led.

The Winsome heart makes no sense to the world. What happens when we respond to affronts to our character with love and forgiveness? It blows people away. When we blush at their crude jokes and simply turn away they may become insulted, but we do not respond in like manner. Instead, we simply engage them in edifying and God glorifying talks. The Winsome heart appears to be naïve to the world, but it is not. Instead it is as wise as a serpent, but as harmless as a dove. It does not attack. It does not try to retaliate. Instead, it returns good for evil. This level of maturity is a marker for the maturing Christian. As we mature in Christ we will be going through all of the cutting, chiseling, and grinding it will take to develop a Winsome heart. It is a work in progress.

The Winsome heart is not timid. It is bold. Timidity is an outcome of pride on the defense. Boldness is an outcome of genuine humility. A winsome, bold heart is a powerful combination. It results in a believer who will remain faithful in the face of persecution and rejoice when it happens.

10 “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:10-12 (NASB)

The world does not understand this. Have you noticed how the world tries to use force to silence Christians? Threats, beatings, prison, and even murder are rampant in the growing church everywhere in the world except the West. I promise, however, those in the West will suffer persecution if they become the Spirit-led radical believers God wants us all to be. Those Flesh-bound believers mired in religiosity are no threat to the world and its ways so there is little persecution. However, when we live out our lives in Spirit-led Christ-likeness, watch out!

How should we react when we are persecuted for living for Jesus? We should rejoice and count ourselves as blessed. Only the Winsome heart can rejoice in the face of persecution. What about when we simply come across unreasonable or incompetent people? How should we treat them? I believe this is marker we should observe in our hearts to measure our godliness. When we can react to this type of treatment the way Jesus would, then I would say we have matured a great deal. However, I have also had these types of successes followed quickly by failures these struggles will continue throughout this life.

Soli Deo Gloria!

10 thoughts on “The Pilgrim’s Heart Part 9 – The Winsome Heart

  1. Hi Mike,
    I was thinking about this post of yours, as I listened to a sermon on “winning souls to Christ” . I don’t like to think of myself winning souls as if it is through my own means.

    It is Christ who wins the souls and He who creates in us a
    ” Win Some” heart. 🙂

    Thanks be to God!
    Terri lynn


  2. Terri Lynn,

    You are right. We don't win anyone. It is God's work and pleasure to do that. Ours is to obedienctly share our faith with the lost. And praise be to God He changes our hearts.

    Isn't it wonderful to know that the pressure to do all of that is off of our weak shoulders and on Christ's ample shoulders instead?

    In Christ

    Mike Ratliff


  3. 1Pe 2:21-24 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.

    This is one of my life verses. I confess I have never thought of myself as having a winsome heart…but if I get what you are saying, these verses are exactly what you are getting at. If we have an understanding about what God has done for us through the life, death, burial and resurrection of our Lord Jesus, then we understand that our standing before Christ is based on this fact. Therefore we have no need to protect or defend ourselves. Because of this we are FREE to let others off the hook, FREE to love them and FREE to forgive them because our actions are NOT BASED ON WHAT THEY HAVE DONE. Our love and forgiveness is based on what CHRIST HAS DONE FOR US AND IN IS.

    You see in the above verses….it states that when reviled he DID NOT REVILE in return. Then what did he do?….HE TRUSTED Himself to GOD…WHO JUDGES RIGHTEOUSLY….(and this while he was suffering.) And incase we might be thinking that we can utter threats and still think we are trusting God…we are clearly told that evidence of trusting God is NOT uttering threats!

    Then in the very next verse we find the power for us to do the exact same thing as Christ. Christ bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might DIE to sin, and LIVE to righteousness. It is the very wounds that Christ received that heal our sin sick soul. We are able to let go and rest in what Christ has done.

    Did I get it?

    I am sorry for going on an on….I just get energized by the word..!

    The series just gets better and better Mike…thanks!


  4. Yes, you got it. Wow! Your comment reads as it if should be part of the post. 🙂 Our suffering in Christ not only validates the message, but it also leads us to die to self. Where else is it possible to be Christ-like? No where! It is amazing how God weaves these messages together with sermons we hear and discussions we have. Doesn’t this blend in well with “Live to Die”? It is amazing. I could never plan anything like that. I wrote these posts in January-February of this year. God is good. Never applogize for writing comments like this. This is great. As I said earlier, perhaps we should co-write. 🙂

    In Christ

    Mike Ratliff


  5. “This is great. As I said earlier, perhaps we should co-write.”

    You are a brave soul…he he! But I would love the opportunity to do such writing. I leave it in God’s hand.

    Thanks for your encouraging words. I do find it interesting that our thoughts always seem to flow to the same level. God is so good. The fellowship we experience around The Unity of Spirit and Faith is extremely encouraging.

    Yes, the “Live to Die” sermons fit well here. Again…God is so amazingly sovereign to use it all and fit it all together. “I love it when a plan comes together.” Remember who said that? sorry…I have digressed.


  6. Well, you pray about that. Perhaps you could put together a post and we can go over together. You will know pretty quick during the writing and research process whether this is what you want to do. 🙂 I have no problem sharing this platform with someone likeminded.


  7. Dear Mike,
    I enjoyed reading your article, “The Pilgrim’s Heart Part 9 – The Winsome Heart.” It is greatly challenging to my heart. Thank you!

    I also wanted to let you know about our web site, On it is posted an article about the winsomeness of Christ seen in His creation. Our materials are oriented toward children, but they are also for adults with a humble, childlike, “winsome” heart! So, I hope it might be a blessing to you. Please let me know if you get an opportunity to read it.
    In Jesus’ sweet love,


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